Festivus Wine

The Perfect Wine for “The Rest of Us”

Looking for the perfect wine to accompany your Festivus celebration? Whether you’re preparing for the Airing of Grievances, gearing up for Feats of Strength, or simply need liquid courage to face your family on December 23rd, this guide covers everything you need to know about Festivus wine—from novelty bottles to serious pairing recommendations for your Festivus dinner.

Because if you’re going to listen to Uncle Bob complain about everything you’ve done wrong this year, you’re going to need a good glass of wine.

What Is Festivus? (For Those Who’ve Been Living Under a Rock)

Festivus is a secular holiday celebrated on December 23rd as an alternative to the commercialization and pressures of the traditional Christmas season. Originally created by author Daniel O’Keefe in 1966 and popularized by the 1997 Seinfeld episode “The Strike,” Festivus has become a beloved celebration for people seeking a less commercial, more honest holiday experience.

The holiday features an unadorned aluminum pole (chosen for its excellent strength-to-weight ratio), a Festivus dinner, the “Airing of Grievances” (where you tell everyone how they’ve disappointed you over the past year), and “Feats of Strength” (wrestling the head of household). The motto? “A Festivus for the rest of us!”

And yes, wine is absolutely part of modern Festivus celebrations—even if George’s boss in the Seinfeld episode had to sneak drinks from a hip flask.

Festivus Wine: A Brief History

While the original Festivus celebrations didn’t specifically call for wine, the modern interpretation has fully embraced wine as part of the Festivus dinner experience. Since the Seinfeld episode aired in 1997, Festivus has grown from a quirky TV moment into a genuine cultural phenomenon, complete with:

• Novelty Festivus-themed wine labels from various wineries
• Annual Festivus celebrations at bars and restaurants nationwide
• Festivus wine pairings recommended by wine enthusiasts
• Festivus beer, ice cream, and other themed products
• Even a Festivus pole displayed at the Wisconsin State Capitol

The appeal of Festivus wine is simple: it’s unpretentious, accessible, and perfect for a celebration that thumbs its nose at commercialism while bringing people together for honest (if occasionally brutal) conversation.

Types of Festivus Wine

1. Novelty Festivus-Labeled Wines

Several wineries have jumped on the Festivus bandwagon by creating special-edition wines with Festivus-themed labels. These bottles are perfect conversation starters and make excellent gifts (even though gift-giving isn’t technically part of Festivus tradition—but we won’t tell Frank Costanza if you don’t).

What to look for:

• Labels featuring aluminum poles, Seinfeld references, or “A Festivus for the Rest of Us” branding
• Red wine blends (appropriate for winter celebrations)
• Limited-edition releases available in November and December
• Wines that don’t take themselves too seriously (matches the Festivus spirit)

Where to find them: Check specialty wine shops, online wine retailers, and local wineries during the holiday season. These novelty bottles tend to sell out quickly as Festivus grows in popularity.

2. Wines “For the Rest of Us” (Unpretentious & Accessible)

The true spirit of Festivus calls for wines that are honest, straightforward, and free from pretension—much like the holiday itself. These are everyday wines that taste great without requiring a sommelier certification to appreciate.

Characteristics of perfect “Rest of Us” wines:

• Reasonably priced ($10-25 per bottle)
• Widely available (no hard-to-find cult wines)
• Food-friendly and crowd-pleasing
• No complicated tasting notes required
• Labels you can pronounce after a few glasses

Recommended varietals:

• Red wines: Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Zinfandel, Malbec, or red blends
• White wines: Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio
• For the unconventional: Rosé (because rules are made to be broken)

Best Wines for Festivus Dinner

The traditional Festivus dinner features meatloaf served on a bed of lettuce, though many modern celebrants opt for turkey, ham, or other hearty winter fare. Here’s how to pair wine with your Festivus feast:

If You’re Serving Traditional Meatloaf:

Best Pairing: Medium-Bodied Red Wine

Meatloaf’s savory, slightly sweet flavors pair beautifully with:

• Merlot: Soft tannins complement the meat without overwhelming it
• Zinfandel: The slight sweetness matches ketchup-based glazes
• Cabernet Sauvignon: Classic pairing for beef-based dishes
• Syrah/Shiraz: Peppery notes complement seasoned meatloaf

Specific recommendations:

• Columbia Crest Grand Estates Merlot (Washington) – $10-12
• Bogle Vineyards Zinfandel (California) – $10-12
• 14 Hands Cabernet Sauvignon (Washington) – $12-15
• Any honest, unpretentious red blend under $20

If You’re Serving Turkey or Ham:

Best Pairing: Pinot Noir or Versatile White Wine

For poultry or pork-based Festivus dinners:

• Pinot Noir: Light enough for turkey, rich enough for ham
• Chardonnay: Classic pairing for roasted poultry
• Riesling (off-dry): Balances ham’s saltiness with slight sweetness
• Beaujolais: Light, fruity, food-friendly

For Vegetarian Festivus Celebrations:

Not everyone celebrates with meat, and that’s perfectly fine for a holiday about alternatives:

• Sauvignon Blanc: Pairs with vegetable dishes and salads
• Grenache or Tempranillo: Great with mushroom-based dishes
• Rosé: Versatile enough for mixed vegetarian spreads

Wine for the Airing of Grievances

Let’s be honest: you’re going to need something with good structure and balance to get through this part of the evening. The Airing of Grievances—where each person tells everyone else how they’ve disappointed them over the past year—requires wines that can handle tension.

Recommended approach:

Start with something approachable: A friendly Pinot Noir or smooth Merlot sets a civilized tone before things get real.

Move to something bolder: Once Uncle Bob starts listing your failings from January through December, upgrade to a Cabernet Sauvignon or Syrah with enough backbone to match the conversation.

Have backup bottles ready: The Airing of Grievances can run long. Plan for at least one bottle per 3-4 people, possibly more depending on how disappointed your family has been this year.

Pro tip: Pour generous glasses. Everyone will need them.

Wine for Feats of Strength

The Feats of Strength—where you must wrestle the head of household to the floor before Festivus can end—present unique wine challenges.

Before the wrestling begins:

• Set your wine glass down in a safe location
• Finish your current pour (wine spills are a Festivus tragedy)
• Consider switching to something less breakable (but we’re a wine site, so we won’t officially recommend that)

After emerging victorious (or defeated):

• Celebrate with sparkling wine if you pinned the head of household
• Console yourself with a rich, comforting red if you lost
• Either way, you’ve earned another glass

Budget-Friendly Festivus Wine Recommendations

Festivus celebrates freedom from commercialism, so there’s no need to break the bank on expensive bottles. Here are excellent wines under $20 that embody the “for the rest of us” spirit:

Red Wines ($10-20):

• Costco’s Kirkland Signature wines: Excellent quality at anti-commercial prices
• Charles Shaw (“Two Buck Chuck”): The ultimate unpretentious wine
• Bogle Vineyards (any varietal): Consistently good, widely available
• Columbia Crest Grand Estates: Great Washington wines under $15
• Apothic Red: Crowd-pleasing blend perfect for mixed company
• 19 Crimes: Fun labels, solid wines, conversation starters
• Joel Gott Cabernet Sauvignon: Reliable California Cab around $15

White Wines ($10-20):

• Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc (New Zealand): Crisp, refreshing, under $15
• Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc: Widely available, consistently good
• La Crema Chardonnay: Excellent value for California Chard
• Chateau Ste. Michelle Riesling: Washington Riesling around $10
• Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Chardonnay: Reliable classic

Sparkling Wines ($10-20):

• Korbel Brut: California sparkling under $15
• Freixenet or Segura Viudas Cava: Spanish sparklers around $10
• La Marca Prosecco: Italian sparkler under $15
• Gruet Brut: New Mexico sparkler with surprising quality

Premium Festivus Wines (When You Want to Splurge)

While Festivus opposes commercialism, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating with quality wine. Sometimes “the rest of us” deserve something special:

Premium Red Wines ($20-50):

• Duckhorn Vineyards Merlot (Napa Valley): Benchmark California Merlot
• The Prisoner Red Blend: Iconic California blend worth the splurge
• Justin Cabernet Sauvignon (Paso Robles): Excellent Paso Cab
• Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars Artemis Cabernet: Napa quality under $50
• Caymus Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon: Splurge-worthy Napa Cab

For more California wine club options featuring premium wines, check out our California Wine Clubs guide or browse our Top 10 Best Wine Clubs.

Festivus Wine Club Options

If you’ve discovered that Festivus wine is your thing, why not join a wine club that delivers quality wines monthly? It’s the gift that keeps giving—to yourself, because Festivus doesn’t do traditional gift exchanges.

Wine clubs perfect for Festivus celebrants:

• Clubs featuring unpretentious, food-friendly wines
• Subscriptions offering excellent value (anti-commercialism at its finest)
• Monthly deliveries (so you’re stocked for next year’s Festivus)
• Flexible memberships you can pause or cancel (no pressure, just like Festivus)

Browse our comprehensive wine club reviews to find subscriptions that match your taste and budget. Many of our top-rated wine clubs offer wines in the $15-30 range—perfect for year-round “rest of us” drinking.

Where to Buy Festivus Wine

For Novelty Festivus-Labeled Bottles:

• Specialty wine shops: Call ahead in November/December
• Online wine retailers: Search “Festivus wine” to find current offerings
• Local wineries: Some create limited-edition Festivus releases
• Wine.com, Total Wine, BevMo: Often stock novelty seasonal wines

For Everyday “Rest of Us” Wines:

• Costco: Excellent wine selection at warehouse prices
• Trader Joe’s: Great value wines, including the famous “Two Buck Chuck”
• Total Wine & More: Massive selection across all price points
• Local grocery stores: Most carry solid wines under $20
• Wine clubs: Monthly deliveries mean you’re always prepared

Festivus Wine Serving Tips

How Much Wine Do You Need?

Plan for approximately:

• One bottle per 2-3 people for a 2-3 hour Festivus dinner
• Extra bottles if Airing of Grievances runs long (it usually does)
• Backup bottles because you never know when someone will declare a Festivus miracle
• Both red and white options to accommodate different preferences

Serving Temperatures:

• Red wine: Slightly below room temperature (60-65°F)
• White wine: Well-chilled (45-50°F)
• Sparkling wine: Cold (40-45°F)

Presentation:

Remember: Festivus features an unadorned aluminum pole because Frank Costanza found tinsel distracting. Apply this same minimalist philosophy to wine service:

• Skip the fancy wine charms and elaborate decanters
• Simple glassware works perfectly fine
• Focus on the wine, not the presentation
• Function over form (very Festivus)

Festivus Wine Traditions to Start

Want to make wine a bigger part of your Festivus celebration? Here are traditions worth adopting:

1. The Festivus Wine Toast

Before the Airing of Grievances begins, raise a glass and toast: “To Festivus—a celebration for the rest of us!” It’s a civilized moment before things get honest.

2. The Disappointment Pairing

As each person airs their grievances, they select which wine best represents their disappointment in the person they’re addressing. Bitter grievance? Bold Cabernet. Minor annoyance? Light Pinot Grigio. This adds a creative element to complaint season.

3. The Victory Pour

Whoever successfully pins the head of household during Feats of Strength gets to choose the final bottle of the evening. Winner’s privilege.

4. The Annual Festivus Bottle

Each year, select one special bottle to open only on Festivus. It becomes your holiday tradition—a wine you look forward to annually, just like the aluminum pole and family wrestling.

Festivus Wine FAQs

Do I have to drink wine at Festivus?

Absolutely not! Festivus is about celebrating however you want, free from traditional pressures. Drink wine, beer, cocktails, sparkling water, or nothing at all. There are no Festivus wine police (though Frank Costanza might have opinions).

What wine goes best with Pepperidge Farm cake with M&Ms?

The traditional Festivus dessert pairs surprisingly well with:

• Sweet Moscato or Riesling
• Port or dessert wine
• Sparkling Moscato d’Asti
• Or just finish whatever red you’ve been drinking—rules are optional

Can I give Festivus wine as a gift?

Technically, Festivus doesn’t include gift-giving (it’s anti-commercial, remember?). However, if you want to bring wine to someone’s Festivus celebration as a host gift, that’s perfectly reasonable. Consider it a contribution to the evening rather than a gift. A novelty Festivus-labeled bottle makes this even more appropriate.

What if I can’t find novelty Festivus wine bottles?

No problem! Any good, unpretentious wine works perfectly. The spirit of Festivus is about substance over style, so a solid $15 bottle beats a $50 bottle with fancy packaging any day. Focus on wines “for the rest of us” rather than hunting for specific labels.

Should I bring wine to someone else’s Festivus celebration?

Bringing a bottle or two is a thoughtful gesture, even if gift-giving isn’t part of Festivus tradition. Your host will appreciate not having to supply all the wine for the Airing of Grievances. Plus, it ensures there’s at least one bottle you know you’ll enjoy.

Can I celebrate Festivus with wine club wines?

Absolutely! Wine club subscriptions are perfect for Festivus celebrants because:

• You get regular wine deliveries without holiday shopping stress
• Many clubs focus on value and quality over marketing hype
• It’s a gift to yourself year-round (very Festivus)
• You’ll always have good wine ready for spontaneous Festivus gatherings

Check out our wine club reviews to find subscriptions that match the Festivus spirit.

Festivus Miracle: Great Wine Doesn’t Require Great Expense

Here’s the real Festivus miracle: you don’t need expensive wine to have an excellent Festivus celebration. The holiday’s entire philosophy centers on rejecting commercialism and embracing what matters—honest conversation, shared meals, and time with people you care about (even if you’re about to tell them how they’ve disappointed you).

The perfect Festivus wine isn’t about the price tag, the prestigious label, or the critic scores. It’s about finding honest, well-made wines that taste good, pair well with food, and don’t require a second mortgage to purchase.

Whether you’re serving a $10 Costco Kirkland Signature Cabernet or a $40 Napa Valley Merlot, what matters is that you’re celebrating in a way that feels right for you—a true “Festivus for the rest of us.”

Final Thoughts: Make Festivus Your Own

The beauty of Festivus is that there are no strict rules (except maybe the aluminum pole and the wrestling). If you want to make wine a central part of your celebration, do it. If you’d rather stick to beer or cocktails, that works too. If you want to create elaborate wine pairings for each course of your Festivus dinner, go for it.

The whole point of Festivus is creating a celebration that works for you, free from the commercial pressures and rigid traditions of conventional holidays. Wine can enhance your Festivus experience, but only if you want it to.

So raise a glass of whatever you’re drinking and toast: “Happy Festivus! A celebration for the rest of us!”

And remember: Festivus isn’t over until the head of household has been pinned. Pace your wine consumption accordingly.

Explore More Wine Resources

Looking for more wine recommendations and resources?

• Wine Club Reviews – Find subscriptions delivering quality wines monthly
• Best Wine Clubs – Our top-rated wine club recommendations
• Wine Gifts – More holiday wine gift ideas (even if Festivus doesn’t require them)
• Wine Reviews – Detailed reviews of individual wines
• California Wine Clubs – Premium California wine subscriptions

Happy Festivus, and may your grievances be aired, your strength be feat-y, and your wine be delicious!

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Festivus celebrated December 23rd annually. Wine recommended for all holiday celebrations, Seinfeld-inspired or otherwise.